Simply 2 Suitcases

If you are on your pregnant journey, beginning or end, chances are you’ve already heard a TON of advice…whether you asked for it or not.

I guarantee much of it was given with good intentions and love.  But I found on my own path, some of it feels like it’s out there just to scare you.  I think women in our culture are set on exposing “what it’s really like”.  In the past I guess we feel like we weren’t told the truth…no one told us how hard it was going to be.

 I don’t think you know how hard it is to be a mama or be pregnant until you are in the thick of it.  So the advice is given to prepare you.  With raised eyebrows and a frightening jubilance women have shared with me how much pain I should anticipate. How my husband and I will not recognize one another any more.  How for 4-6 months I should anticipate my world being upside down and then I can slowly get back on a path.  All you can do as a first time mama is mumble “thanks” and then go silently worry away what days of freedom you have left.  Eeeeeeeeeeek.  Serious eek.  I felt frustrated by this process.

At the end of each negative story and experience I started asking, “well, what’s good about it all then?”  Each woman would pause, and then here is were I found the good stuff.  The unimaginable love that awaits us as we greet our child.  The magic of my body growing a human, birthing it, feeding it.  These snippets today are from a few of my friends that whether they knew it or not, gave me the BEST advice I could have received in my pregnancy.  I’ve kept names anonymous, but just know if you took the time to share joy and not just horrors, I appreciate you.

Believe me. I appreciate hearing the scary part too, because it is not going to be all glitter and gloss.  BUT I think sometimes life is hard enough.  I want to be a mama that can do both~ give an honest take on where we are at, but also let others know there is so much sparkly-amazingness ahead too.

The Best Advice I Received: 

• Love your child with everything you have.  That’s all they need at the end of the day is you and your love.  Whatever that means to you, practice it, show it, shower them with it.  Especially as an infant, you can not spoil her in this time. Snuggle, kiss, hold, love.  It is a brave new world for both you and her.
• You will come home from the hospital and it will feel like you are living with 3 strangers. Yourself, your baby, and your husband. It’s okay. Take the time to get to know each other.
• Educate yourself. What kind of birth do you want to have? You have options.  Do the work, figure it out.
• I don’t think people talk about the “good” of it as much because there is no way to truly capture how much love you are going to feel. It is unlike anything you have ever experienced, so you just wait.  It is beyond words.
• Your child is YOUR child. What worked for someone else may not work for you. That is okay too. Just keep trying to puzzle it out.  Don’t compare, don’t despair, just keep trying.
• If baby is safe and you need a moment, take it.  Walk away.  Have that shower.  You have to be healthy too.

I’m sure along the way I’m going to have my own set of advice I want to give new mamas.  Today it is simply what is above.  I’ll be meeting my little lady soon and I’m going to love her with all my might. I know it is going to be one of the hardest adventures I ever go on, but it is also one of the most thrilling.

Our Life Lately…

I’ve hit 39 Weeks TODAY! Whoot! I can say I’m feeling like this little lady is a bit heavier to lug around, but we are still doing just fine.  I’ve really worked to stay calm, cool and collected as the days continue on.  Of course I’m eagerly awaiting the holding, snuggling, and SEEING of her, the anticipation is TOUGH!! But I also know she’ll debut when she is ready, so until then I’m spending most of my days relaxing and walk, walk, WALKING.

We had breakfast on the beach on Sunday, and walked through sand and surf.  I keep my runners on now though to support my ankles and knees.  I can tell my joints are more loose!

The fridge and freezer are packed with yummy eats, and I have laid out all my hospital items…now to get them in a bag;)  We’ve been to two more birth classes and are feeling very thankful with our choice to attend them.  I’ll be sharing more of this story later.

We also wandered around our neighborhood a ton, and took a walk through the Hoomaluhia Botanical Gardens.  I’m getting really pumped for family picnics and perhaps even camping (?!) there.

I’ve started taking what Ryan calls my “FEAR NAPS”.  I am not normally I big napper.  I totally was all first trimester, feeling completely exhausted all the time.  However in my third I’ve found it harder to nap and then get a really solid night’s sleep.  But my Doula kindly reminded me that babies tend not to show up after you’ve had a full night’s rest.  Normally they are arriving or throwing you in the midst of labor after your most exhausting day.  So, she recommends napping every day I can.

I see her point;) So, any day I think of not napping, Ry says, “but what if this is the night?” FEAR NAP.  I run upstairs and promptly attempt some shut-eye or at least quiet rest for an hour.  I am incredibly thankful I can do this.

There we are.  Week 39.  I’ll be keeping you posted on what develops with Baby E.  Until then, I’m working away at some pre-scheduled posts, and yes…walking some more.